Robert Flinkman

Robert Flinkman
Ryan's
oil on canvas
24" X 26"
1978
copyright 1978 Robert Flinkman

 

February 21st, 1978      Tuesday

I am more and more involved in it, thinking with the brush, the brush taking on the movements of my thoughts visually. Lately a whole new idea has come to mind on a scene which will depict a bar. The space will be dark, murky almost -taking on the basic outlook of Ryan's, though also, the essence, in the idea, depicting as well the whole nature of the bar scene and my unfortunate encounters there. I want to show how much of an affect that scene had had on me, what I have experienced, even how others see me as the main figure will show in the center. The two doors - one off to the right, and the one in the back will somehow show, suggest is a better word, through color, what will happen once that figure leads you on, toward those rooms. As I wrote before, the whole set up is just like Ryan's - the bar to the right and the placement of the two doors. Yet I want to have much empty space, figures - three of them, set apart, lonely, dark, the whole setting is to be dark, murky, deep, as though this is taking place in the subconscious - surreal - appeals to me, an expressionistic surreal world. I am unsure about the placement of the bottle(s) of liquor on the bar. Perhaps that would be suggestive of my indulging in alchohol, which is quite rare. Yet I remember, though all too distinctly, that once, when so drunk, I gave myself to a young man too much, and awoke regretting it fully. That young man I still care for, he knows this, yet the care I feel for him still is one of good friendship, no more.